Missed Calls...

It was an evening of summer. Rhea opened her eyes and looked at the watch. It was 5 pm already. She wondered how she wasted the entire day by sleeping and weeping. She had taken a day off from her work stating she was ill, but in reality she just wanted a break from her monotonous life. She grabbed the coffee mug kept on her table and headed towards the terrace with the most treasured object she had in her life, her personal diary.

She started looking at each pages from the beginning, all the entries had the time and date mentioned on it. But after viewing few pages patiently she started looking for a particular entry. She kept her coffee mug on the railing and anxiously turned the pages of her diary. After turning few pages she read the date she was looking for.

She took a deep breath, grabbed her coffee mug and placed herself on the floor of the terrace. Sipping the coffee from her coffee mug she started reading the text…

“Today was the happiest day of my life. For past one week I have been planning for this day. After all I met him for the second time only after our school. Actually we both were excited. After months of talking, finally the day had come when we were to see each other. I woke up earlier than usual today, and was ready to go to my friend’s house as early as I could. He told me he might get late as there is a lot of traffic on his way. It’s strange that we don’t talk on phone either. Yes, it’s only Facebook and whatsapp. How the technology today has made it so easier for people to converse and get closer without putting much efforts to please each other with gifts and flowers. Till now I have talked to him on phone just once, that too for few seconds.

I reached my friend’s home earlier than stated. As a punishment I had to help her in cleaning her room. Usually I hate doing such stuff but today I enjoyed it. Yes, I was enjoying everything today. But at the same moment I was nervous too. It was a different kind of feeling that I have never experienced before. I don’t know why I was so nervous to meet him. It wasn’t our first meeting; neither was he the first boy I was meeting. Still I was scared to see him.”

There was a spark in rhea’s eyes while she read these lines. She turned the page of her diary and continued reading…

“It was 2:30 when I checked my phone…and then, I screamed. Harsh (2 missed calls). How on earth can I miss his call? Damn. I called him back. He said he’ll reach the restaurant in 30 minutes. I rushed to the washroom for a final touchup. I was not sure what to do with my hairs. Shalinee said I should leave them open, so I did. I was in auto when I sensed that my phone was vibrating. But before I could take it out of my purse, I missed the call. It was him again. 1 missed call. He called me again and said that there is no place at the restaurant and we have to go elsewhere. At that moment I could hardly understand anything, I wanted to say that I don’t want to see you, I was never so nervous in my life. I was shivering. But then I somehow uttered few words. I said lets meet first and then we can decide what we have to do.

My auto was there in front of the restaurant, my heart beating fastly. I saw him from the corner of my eye but avoided taking a complete look at him. I paid the auto and moved further towards the entrance of the restaurant.

And yes, there he was, standing near the door. He was so tall that I could barely see the whole of him, haha. I saw him and went blank, completely. He moved towards me and said hello. But I could not see his face for two reasons. First, I was shy and second he was way taller than me.  We avoided talking much and quickly decided to go to KFC.

When we were in the auto I realized that my hairs are blowing in the opposite direction and must be irritating him. I cursed shalinee from the bottom of my heart. On our way to KFC all my attention was on my hairs, my fingers doing round behind my ears.”

Rhea’s hands automatically went behind her ears. She smiled faintly and continued reading.

“Finally we were together, talking to each other, face to face. I don’t remember what we talked about; all I remember is the eye contact. I just wanted to sit there and keep looking into his eyes, forever. But the way he looked into my eyes gave me Goosebumps. It was getting awkward, not for us but for the people around us. I have never seen anyone like this, neither someone has seen me like this. It was visible on my face, the happiness and the excitement. How we both saw each other and smiled at the same time. I didn’t want to go home. I wanted to be with him for some more time. I wanted to hold that moment…

We took an auto and he sat beside me. How happy I was! After few minutes he said he wanted to drop me home. That set my mood right, now I was looking forward to spend some more time with him. But then as a matter of courtesy I asked him whether he was sure. Inside I was praying…just say it boy, say it. Say that you don’t have any problem. Then what, he said what I prayed for. We were on our way to home now.

That evening was so beautiful. The sun had gone down, leaving the sky orange and red. The wind was blowing…soft and cool wind. I saw outside the auto and like earlier, the wind made my hairs blow in the opposite direction. I could easily sense my hairs on his face. I could easily make out he was smiling. But this time I didn’t clutch my hairs. I guess I wanted this to happen, I wanted everything to be memorable for both of us."

"I could feel him close to me, his face so close to mine that I could see the mole on the left side of his cheek. He was talking…but I was just staring his face. But then in few seconds I was sad. Sad, that I couldn’t be with him anymore; Sad, that the day had ended; Sad, that he had to go. I could sense from his face hat he was sad too. All these things were going in my mind, my eyes were moist. I looked outside to control myself from crying. It all started moving in my head, how we started interacting, how we started getting worried for each other, how we would make efforts to see each other happy. And how we never talked about our relation; just followed our emotions. At that moment I was not sure where my feelings were taking me, I was not sure whether Harsh felt the same way or not. I was scared for what would happen to me if this was one sided, yet again.

Then something happened that distracted me from my thoughts completely. I turned and looked into his eyes, he was gazing me with his most expressive eyes. I was trembling, feeling shy, happy, and nervous and excited…all at the same time.

He had held my hand. Our fingers tangled into each other’s. I could feel the toughness of his palm. I could feel his thumb moving over my fingers, giving me goosebumps, leaving me breathless.

It was indeed the most beautiful day of my life.”

As rhea read those lines, tears started falling from her eyes. She tried to hold them back but failed to stop them. She put the diary aside, folded her knees and sat there in the corner of her terrace quietly. A lot of things were going in her mind. She still doesn’t know what led to her separation with Harsh. She never gave up, neither did he. It wasn’t anybody’s fault.

“Maybe our priorities were different. Maybe we never understood each other’s feelings. Maybe we didn’t communicate much. Or maybe we were just not meant to be together.”

She would often think so and would try to console herself that whatever happened, happened for good. “It was all going well. Then what was the exact reason that we are not together. Was there any reason? Or were there a lot of reasons? How could he say that his life would be back to normal in a few weeks? Was I ever important for him? Would I ever be able to forget him? Do I even want to forget him?”

“I don’t know why I want to talk to him. It’s been two months since I last heard his voice. I would not take much of his time, just wish him on our first anniversary. Oh, but what if he doesn’t remember? And why would he remember? What if he didn’t receive the call?”

“I still love him. I still want to be with him. I know he loves me too. It was just the circumstances; I would put in my best effort to make it happen this time.

But what if he doesn’t want to?”

Rhea was not able to decide what she wants from Harsh, or so to say, from herself. She knew that Harsh would never come back to her, she knew that it was him who made the call for separation. But there was a part of her that still hoped that maybe someday everything would be fine. Maybe he would realize that he can’t live without her either.

Still not sure whether to call him or not, Rhea stood up from her place and went back into her room. She put the pile of clothes on her bed aside and searched for her phone anxiously. The moment she sat on the bed, she felt her phone was vibrating. She was pretty sure this was from her office.

Disappointed by this, she reached her phone unwillingly. Tears rolled down her eyes when she saw the screen

.

It read-

Harsh(6 missed calls)