For the sweetest girl...

To,

Neha


Life is beautiful only when you have someone to share your feelings with. Someone with whom you can share your happiness, you sorrows, your good days, your bad das, your success and your failure.
There are few in this world who have found their soul-mate. I am one of those few.
We know each other since standard four. Initially we hated each other! We were like two opposite poles or two sides of a coin. You were intelligent, I was not. You were pretty, I was not. You were tall, I was not. You were soft spoken, I was not! But I think that's the basic formulae of a relationship- opposite attracts! Despite many dissimilarities we were together, just as the two sides of a coin are together, like two opposite poles are together.


you became my best friend, your house became my second house where I would land up any moment. We used to see each other everyday. First in schools, then our telephonic conversations. And then on holidays we would spend our entire day together..at your home or at my home!


You know me better than anyone else. You have handled me with patience. You understand my feelings even before I express them, you turn to me even before I call you.
You care for me so much that I have become irresponsible. Because I know, good or bad, you are there to handle it.
The situation now is so that I hold you responsible for all my feelings. If I am happy, that's because I have shared my happiness with you. If I am sad, that's because you are not giving me attention.


But I want to tell you baby that I too come to know when you are upset, when you are angry, when you are sad and yes, when you are confused. Because half of the time you are in that state only.
And I feel extremely jealous when you say you are with your friends. Each time you make new friends I feel tumme mera hissa kam ho gya. Because you are not my friend anymore. You are my part, my soul-mate!
I won't share you with anyone. Your husband has to take my permission and I doubt I'll allow him. All this just because I want to preserve you, I don't want anyone to hurt you. Agar aisa hua toh he better know who I am!


I miss you girl and I know you miss me too. So here I have a plan. When both of us become bankrupt, when our children kick our asses off and when we have grown wrinkles all over our faces...we will stay together. Making food in the kitchen, dancing on B-grade Bollywood numbers, trying each other's dresses, applying make up, making fun of the boys we loved, cursing the boys who left us or simply lying on the bed and praying for one more day of togetherness. Aur baby thoda sa importance apne pati ko bhi de denge...zyada nae thoda sa...thik??


From,
Pragati

Goddess or No Goddess

Our thoughts about women are not inherited. They are formed by the beliefs and practices of the society only. The society that follows the preaching of their respective religious beliefs and ideas has done more harm than good to the women. Hinduism and Islam might have contradictory faiths and teachings but they stand on same platform when it comes to the description of the role and importance of women in the society.

I am born in a Hindu family. Thus I have more exposure to the position of women in a Hindu society and their portrayals in the Hindu mythologies. We have numerous books and scriptures that mention the then positions and situations a woman dealt with. I have not read any of the books but the preaching of elders and popular beliefs forced me to believe that women are lower. I was not ready to believe this though. I tried every possible way to get more information on the topic. I talked about it with my mother, my grandmother and my father but was not satisfied by their explanations. Then I searched on the internet and as always, Wikipedia came to my rescue; providing sheer facts and no perceptions. After years of teachings and preaching I have come to a conclusion that according to our mythologies, women actually have fewer rights.

The first thing that draw my attention is that women are ‘objects’; precious and valuable but objects.

The kidnapping of Sita by Ravan in “Treta Yug” is one of the earliest examples. We all know that Ravan’s sister Surpanakha abetted him to take revenge from the young Ram and Lakshman who refused to accept her as their wife. Ravan couldn’t take this insult and planned to kidnap Sita, Ram’s wife to teach them a lesson. Along with Ram he taught me a lesson. That women are objects who can be borrowed or kidnapped to teach someone a lesson. If someone has insulted you or threatened you, you just have to claim the woman in his family. In moments the man will be on his knees, begging for his reputation and respect. While Ravan did so to take revenge from the brothers on behalf of his sister, he was also attracted by the beauty and grace of Sita and thought of marrying her.

The second thing I can make out is that women are properties. Remember the game of gamble between Duryodhan and Yudhisthir? Yes, the same one where Yudhisthir betted his wife for a game, the same game where Draupadi was insulted. Where she was asked to remove her clothes in front of the gathering. Where she was called a ‘whore’ for being married to five husbands. All this just because her husband lost he in a game. And what did everybody do? They let this happen. They claimed they were doing ‘dharma’ by abiding by the rules of the game.

This is not the only thing that disturbs me, the major disappointment is that after all this insult and character assassination Draupadi forgave her husbands. Why? Because she was a woman and not a warrior, she could not fight for her self-esteem. She had to rely on her husbands for justice, who were equally responsible for her plight.

Wouldn’t an idle situation would be one where Draupadi stands for herself and gets back her respect? If the mythologies preach this society a way of life then shouldn’t they preach equality; regarding rights and strengths. Why only Draupadi was questioned for having five husbands? Why didn’t anyone ask Arjun for having four wives? Why?

 
The third thing I derive is that women can’t have sexual desires. The instance where Ahilya was punished for a sin she committed in disguise is quintessential. Ahilya, the world’s most beautiful woman as created by the Brahma was married to Maharishi Gautam. Indra, the king of Swarglok maintained that all beautiful women should be with him. He was seduced by the beauty and persona of Ahilya and decided own her. After Gautam leaves for his ritual bath, Indra masquerades as Gautama and asks Ahalya to satisfy him. Ahalya, engrossed in worship, rejects him, considering it inappropriate to have sex at the cost of neglecting the gods. Indra reminds her that her first duty is to serve him. Finally Ahalya gives in, but Gautama learns of this by his divine powers. On reaching his home he was highly disappointed from his wife for not recognizing her husband and losing her self-control. He cursed her to turn into a stone.

And Indra was removed from his throne temporarily. That’s it. Now the question is was that the fault of Ahilya? She was a normal being with no ultimate powers to recognize even her husband’s touch or guess Indra’s plan! She didn’t ask him to come over then why did she suffer? She did what she thought was her ‘duty’ as a wife, to satisfy her husband.

She was released from the curse thousands of years later by the touch of Ram’s feet. And after coming to life again she begged pardon from her husband. This clearly exhibits the double standard the society maintained. And this is prevalent even now. Talking about a women’s sexual desire is still a taboo. Why can’t a woman express her sexual desires? Isn’t she made up of same chemicals, elements and hormones the men are made up of?

These are only few instances, there are numerous such incidents that highlight that women are of lower importance. A woman can't be an heir, she doesn't have a stake in her father's property, she is not capable of being a warrior, there are many such myths which are accepted as beliefs These beliefs and practices are in rooted in our society so deeply that it is naïve to demand change overnight. But despite knowing this it is my humble request to all the men and women who worship women as form of Durga, Laxi and Saraswati, please stop doing so. Because the girl you are worshipping (or pretending to worship) is neither Durga nor there is any actual Durga.

The ‘shakti’ or ‘source of strength’ you worship is said to have immense power but the women who you pretend to worship are made up of very ordinary material. They have the same strength, same fate, same predilections, same prejudices, same drawbacks and same desires.

They are as human as you are.

Up in the sky…

 

It was an evening just like the others. The sun drenched in red was about to set. The sky and the clouds, all were reflecting the color of the sun. The birds were flying back to their homes. The leaves were producing shrilling sound. The orange and the green flags were silently exhibiting the beliefs of the denizens and the cold breeze was soothing my mind and soul.

 

So there I was, in one of the corners of the roof; holding a gadget, with a desire to capture the serene moments. I tried my best to capture the moments, but each time the still was incomplete. Neither the device was capable of capturing the beauty nor the ambience allowed me to concentrate elsewhere. I don’t remember when exactly I stopped clicking and was lost in the moment. It felt like after years I was spending time with myself.

 

I sat on the floor and witnessed the nature’s most beautiful happening….i witnessed the sun hiding behind the hills. These hills!! A major part of my life is passed around these hills. Standing in the middle of my place and my nani’s place, these hills have always exited me! I remember how anxiously I waited to see these hills closely on my way to nani’s place. Despite this attachment I never longed for them.

 

Many people used to visit these hills. But I never went there. These hills had alwys been there in my life, without any noise, without any stake, have just been there. Even after staying away from these hills I never missed them. But this time it was different. My car was speeding towards nani’s place. I was excited as I was visitng her after six years. Then suddenly the car took a sharp turn and I saw them! They looked exactly the way I left them…tall, wide, quiet! It felt like I have met an old friend, a dear relative, a lost soul mate…. And there were tears in my eyes. Hw could I forget them? The stories that I have heard, the memories that I have forged…how could I??
But they were there…like always…greeting me, cheering me up, making me smile and saying “don’t cry! I’ll always be there...with you, within you, inside your heart. Just remember, whenever you feel let down, disheartened or cheated, just turn to me. I’ll offer you all long lost memories…I’ll offer you your happy days!! “

 

Then suddenly I realized the sun was not there. The birds have gone and the sky has turned dark. The wind grew stronger, passing through my hairs, making it impossible to keep them behind my ears. I let open my hairs, allowing the air to pass through them completely. The cold breeze was touching my face and then was playing with my hairs, making them blow in whatever direction it wanted. I closed my eyes and silently sat under the sky…talking to myself, listening to my inner self, happy and content!

A few moments later I woke up to the grueling sound of the wind. I could easily make out from the silence that it was midnight. I slowly lay on my back and looked up. What I saw was breath taking. Innumerable stars!! It has been ages I have seen so many stars together in one night. Back home in Patna we could barely see moon, that too through our windows. Stars are a distant dream…

 

Gazing at the stars for a long time without any reason, without any expectations   but only with starry dreams gave me immense peace and bliss. It was a different feeling altogether. I never felt like this or perhaps I forgot I ever felt like this. Yes!! After a long long time I realized how it feels to be beautiful! What a person or material couldn’t do for me; the darkness did.

 

In the darkness of the night I felt every latent feeling of mine, I allowed every beautiful thought to cross my mind, each one helping me understand myself better. What I observed was simply paradise!

 

I understood one thing completely that it’s better to know oneself than to know someone another. It’s a difficult job but then that’s the challenge. Sit with yourself as much as you can. You don’t have to try hard, just be natural. It’s okay to have good and bad experiences. Ultimately what matters is what you have learnt from it or how it has changed you as a being.

 

That night I stayed awake or a long time…the moon, the stars, the wind, the darkness and me…!!

Our secret meeting…

 

Chapter3

Aashu was in a hurry. She was hurriedly doing her hairs. It would be the first day in last three months when she would probably be late on work. She was running in her room, trying to put all her things in her bag when her friend called her down for having breakfast. But she was completely out of time. So she took a piece of bread that she had in her stock and galloped it with the help of milk that her friend was holding. She took her bag, put on her sandals, locked the door and ran downstairs. When she reached the gate she saw the postman coming towards her hostel. Aashu already knew he was coming to deliver Soham’s letter only. But the postman was not walking, instead he was crawling…that’s what Aashu thought!! So she ran to the postman, took the letter from him and returned to the gate. She jumped in the car that her hotel had provided her. She asked her driver to go super-fast so that she could reach in a reasonable time, at least. The weather was romantic again but Aashu had no time for romance.

 Somehow she reached the hotel but was forty five minutes late. Since it was business season, Mansoori was witnessing influx of tourists and so was the case with Aashu’s hotel. She was trying hard to concentrate on her work but inside she was dying to read Soham’s letter. Finally she got the time in afternoon when most of the guests were out and she had less work to do. She sat peacefully in her chamber and read soham’s letter.  While reading the letter she wore a constant smile on her face. She eagerly wanted to reply but had other work to do. So, she controlled the temptation and concentrated on her work.

That day in the evening she preferred walking down her hostel. Evenings in Mansoori are beyond beautiful. Spell bound by the beauty of ‘The Queen of Mountains’ she thought of spending some time in solace. She sat on one of the several benches by the periphery of the street. After sometime she thought of replying to Soham’s letter. She took out her pen and paper and went on to pen down her feelings…

“Soham! Don’t try to be over smart with me. I know that you understand everything…the rain…your look...etcetera etcetra….so don’t even try to act innocent with me. Try this with the bitch warden of mine; she might fall for you...huh..!!

You know what? It was the first time I was late for work since I joined. And this is all because of you. Yes yes you!

Yesterday night Pihu called me. We talked about our school trip. Both of us took out our school trip’s photo album and discussed each and every shot….haha…you know the funniest part was that me and you were standing at the exact opposite corners in each picture…what actors we were!! Haha…no one knew about us being together till we did our graduation. I am impressed with our acting…two thumbs up!!

Can you guess from where I am replying you?  From the same bench where we sat together…holding hands when we were on our school trip…you in 12^th standard and me in 9^th standard. Yes! The same meeting that Pihu and Vyom arranged for us. The weather is different though. Today the sky seems grey. But that day was a sunny day, and we met in the afternoon with all the possibilities of being caught. Fools! All four of us!

And yes baby, you are not getting anybody’s number, specially my warden’s number. So don’t even think of that. One more thing, please stop eating all these unhealthy food. Because in few weeks you will be in India and you will not be getting all this rubbish to eat. So mind it!

I almost forgot to tell you, Rohan is coming tomorrow to see me. He was in Patna for his summer breaks. He said mom has sent some snacks for me. How are your mom and dad? It’s been days I heard of them.

 

Reply soon….miss you…

Aashu”

(to be continued…)

dhak dhak dress nd memories

 

Intoduction

(Soham kashyap, btech IIT BOMBAY..branch mechanical...age 28 yrs..presently working with FORD MOTORS...in US..his father is into buiseness..mom is housewife., he is d only son..and d only hope..papa was dancing when he got into an iit..mom made kheer d day he got placed..he wants to go high.., very high..he wants to earn., he wants to know..life is tough nd hectic..bt he has someone in heart..someone very delicate..very soft..someone whom he loves..badly and madly.).

Chapter 2

Soham was preparing his presentation..suddenly someone knocked d door...

TING TONG...letter...! Mmmm....India...he pulled his chair n tuk a round on his moving chair..opened d envelope..read it...smiled..laughed..soham rushed and saw outside the window...up d sky..shhehhh....,.there were no clouds in new york....he laughed again n tuk his pen nd a page...

 

"Aashu I badly want you to elaborate, like I really dont know what yu mean..d day in rain..icecream day..when I was wet..u said I was cute.cn u please give detail .. I mean u know right I m suppaa innocent ;) well well well if you r smiling with your lips extended more in one side and saying "soham!! Tum bhi na"..after reading this..let me tell u mission accomplished..

I googled nd learnt how to make pastaa yesterday night., today is sunday so i tried..it tasted yuck nd so I added wine in it which my friend gave me on thursday nd then believe me it was amazing den ;p ok ok ok sorry relax..dnt give this eeww look..you have no idea how madly I m in love wd dat look..lik not abhishek wala idea..idea wala idea..!!!

Hmmmmmmmm.,,Aashu teko pata hai my landlord's daughter came to me this morning and she was playing wd me..she was beating me continuously wd pillow..nd I was silent.., u know why..bcz I went into past..into those days...u remember how I climbed nd came to your room from window?Because you said u r wearing d dhak dhak krne laga dress..juz to see you I risked my life..I was about to b bitten by your dog..was about to fall over an oversize auntie who gave such seductive smile whn I was running nd she came infront of me suddenly by mistake n i hit her..or well we cn say i got injured..badly injured :p.,..no no no its not over baby dnt forget i was running on streets in shorts ignoring stare nd laugh of I don't  know how many cute gals..nd whn I reached., you madam were laughing...nd u hit me wd the pillow...ha ha..u hve no idea how funny and embarassing it was..

So I was lost, was enjoying wid the pillow, or else teko pata h na bacchon se mera kitna  panga chalta hai..!

M doing good wd my projecs..lets see..hopefully they will like my presentation..dnt miss me too much..we r jus one month away..I knw how difficult it is..I knw how u feel ..every morning I want to look in those eyes..every evening I want to walk holding ur hands...nd every night I want to feel d warmth of ur hug..

Ahem ahem well...one more thing...m confused whether I shud say it or not,, the bitch warden of yurs who switch off yur lights is quite hot..saw in ur bday pics , if possible give her number :p 

By d way I m searching streets of 

 New york for dhak dhak dress even now..

I m missing u...shitt aashu I juz cant wait...

well..its late..need to start workin over presentation..waiting fr ur reply

Go see out there..its about to rain...close ur eyes m bout to feel u wd raindrops..

Nd yes..I m crazy about u..love u..

Soham"

(To be continued....)

I still love you...

Introduction

Aashu is a twenty five year old girl who hails from Patna. She is presently working as a manager in Valley View Hotel in Mansoori. She has a younger brother who is doing B.Tech from IIT Delhi. Her father works with a bank and her mother is a social worker. Aashu is a girl with traditional values and modern mindset. She is a hard working girl who has achieved all by herself. She finds pleasure in life’s small offerings.

Chapter 1

It is a rainy day in Mansoori. The valley is witnessing thick clouds all over the sky. Rain is a common thing in this month. Aashu has just returned from the mess, upset yet again with the food she had. She misses the soft roti and spicy curry she used to have in Patna. Dragging her feet she moves closer to the window when she realizes that it is still raining. She quickly runs to get a pen and paper and ushers to the window. She lets the window open completely but the wind is blowing too fast. She half shuts the window and drags a chair. Sitting cozily on her chair she is all set to pen down her feelings…to post it to Soham!

 

"There again it’s raining. It’s raining for four days now and the forecasters have told that the conditions will remain adverse for next two three days. They say it is because of some storm. Some say it is because it’s the time of rain in Mansoori. But whatever be the reason Soham, you know what? I just love it.

Right now I am sitting beside the window watching the raindrops fall in the tiny water bodies that have appeared on the road. The wind is making the pond water dance in a rhythmic motion. And the thunderous sound…Aah!! creating an awesome combination of thrill and sensation.

There is something mysterious about the rain. Each time I sensor a raindrop on my face, I feel you have touched me. The smell of the wet soil gives me a feeling that you are around. But soon I realize that it can’t be true. It can’t be true because it has been four years we have met Soham. And you say you are still one month away. Upar se ye baarish! How unfair!

This season is the season of love, of happiness, of togetherness. It is our season, isn’t it?

You remember that day? That day when we were punished by Mr. Jha for being late? I am quite sure you remember. It was raining heavily, exactly the way it is raining today. We were in the auto near high court when I insisted on eating ice cream. There were no vendors as it was raining par tum toh tum ho!! You went on searching for the ice cream for an hour. Running to and fro, putting all your efforts…but you couldn’t find an ice cream. Finally we ended up having ice gola- cola cola flavor, your favorite. And yes, the punishment was tasty too, haha. But yaar Soham I must tell you that you were looking super cute in that wet look…I mean not in that way but yes in that way…you know na what I mean? Don’t you?

By the way how are you doing? And what about the target you mentioned? You cracked it or not? I am sure you must have cracked it. You couldn’t reply for my last letter. So I can easily say you are working too hard. Keep up the good work, it always pays.

Aur rahi meri baat toh I am doing good too. Sometimes it gets too tiring but I am trying, managing. It’s just that I miss you so much that it becomes difficult to pay attention on my work. You have any idea how much I miss being with you? No no, not Abhishek wala idea…like idea wala idea…haan? Bolo toh?

Offo! It’s already eleven Soham. The warden is asking us to switch off the lights. She is a real bitch I tell you. She never misses a chance to annoy me.

Look, the rain has suddenly taken speed. This time I have opened the windows completely, letting the raindrops fall on my face, letting the wind penetrate my soul. I want to be with you Soham, in every possible way.

Please come soon…and listen…

I still love you"

(To be continued...)

The parties we attended...

We all have gone to parties. Wedding parties, Anniversary parties, Reception parties and Birthday parties. Birthday parties are still our favorite because we know everyone else present there. At your birthday you have your whole gang of friends who can dance on any song, who will act like its their home and will ask you to stop acting like a host. You don't need to make them feel comfortable, instead they feel so comfortable that you have to say Bitch, stop overacting now and behave properly!

We loved to go to other parties as well. The most exiting parts were dressing up and eating (for me at least ). As we were kids no one noticed the number of chow miens we had, the volume of rice we galloped or the frequency of ice cream we queued for. But now do we do the same?

Certainly not. As grown ups now we avoid going out and meeting new people. We feel embarrassed to go on stage and get clicked with the couple whom we are meeting for the first time in our lives. To whom we have to say "wow bhabhi, you look stunning" but want to say "listen, you have over done your eye makeup"

This "sanyasi" attitude is not natural. It has developed over a period of time. And believe me or not, everyone has contributed equally in this transformation. Be it your parents, the hosts, the caterers or you yourself. These are some of my experiences that led me to the state of being a recluse. You might say Deja Vu..

1. Remember when you were kid? Around 5-10 years old? Can you recall the way you dressed? If not, go and check your photographs. We looked Aliens. It seem to me that our parents intentionally bought the funniest dresses so that they look cuter than us. I often ask my parents why are you two looking fab and we two (me and my brother ) are looking jokers? They answer me that this was 'the fashion' and I say what fashion? Wearing a red colour caprie with a white top and a cream colour hat cannot be fashion, that too in a reception party!!

2.Hosts  are of two types. One, who make you feel at home. Second, who try so hard to make you feel at home that you want to say 'Hello! I am your guest. Have some respect'. You must have come across a host who have asked you to go and dance with the world renounced dancers aka Baraaties. Now its good for you to shake your leg before the aunty calls all the dancing stars to take you to the dance floor(or the road). Do it, otherwise she will keep poking you throughout the baarat( or the procession or the march, whatever )

3.The big reason we went to most of the parties was food, and food came from people serving them. There are two ways food is served in the parties. One where you are served on the table and the other where you go to the food stall and do the service yourself. Most of us have been to the "mixed" system where we were neither served on the table nor were we allowed to serve ourselves. We have to go the food stall where the boys will serve us. Now all these boys hold personal grudge against you. They plan to give away the ugliest food in plenty and hold the tastiest dish with themselves. When a kid, I was a rebel. I always insisted on having only that food which he was unwilling to give. But now I just look at the boys with a stern face. How badly I miss being a rebel.

4.You yourself are a reason for this state of yours. because you always missed obtaining perfect marks for dressing 'accordingly'. Consider this-
Its a wedding of your close but not so close friend's sister. But you think you live in the same colony so everyone must be dressing exceptionally so you decide to look the best. You enter the venue and you are shocked to realize how badly you are overdressed and everybody is pointing at you and probably making fun of you. Or the opposite might happen. You think that its nearby and you know everyone there and need not to showoff. But you end up getting scolded by your mom for looking like, well, a maid. Poor You!!

These are the experiences we all have gone through once. They are not all bad but have somehow affected us badly. We have stopped going out, stopped meeting new people, stopped dressing nicely and most importantly stopped asking for food. Admit it, we all want to be there with our parents to make fun of the wannabe aunties and feel superior. But we give up the idea because we hate saying too much 'namaste'. But I say this party season don't be lazy, move your butt, get up, dress up, go out, chill out, meet people, make fun and yes, be a Rebel !!
 

Sanity Suckss

( I actually think it does. Go insane )

I never thought I would write blog. Since school I was never interested in writing. Its a hobby recently discovered and discovered while reading. I started reading only after getting into college because suddenly I realized I had nothing to do. The so called first year "masti" which I didn't find "mast" at all was over. And there I was...thinking hard how to pass my time. Then I got the idea of reading some "slim romantic novels". It served two purposes to me-

1. The novels I thought of reading were romantic. Hence I didn't mind their 'slimness' or 'thickness'. And yes, what on earth can be better genre than romance for a beginner.
2. They helped me in faking in front of my parents. They thought I was taking my college very seriously and was totally into my studies.

They came to know about my sincerity only after my first year results. Well, results apart reading was fun now. I read many articles, few novels and one or two non fiction. Then suddenly one day I restlessly felt the urge to write. I don't know what it was, whether I didn't like some story's climax or simply envied the writer for how could he write so well and I couldn't :(
The result was positive though. I wrote 6 poems in 1 day. It seemed as I if I have climbed the Mt. Everest and the only thing remaining is to shout 'Eureka - Eureka'. But I controlled myself and called my bestie Neha. She appreciated all my poems and then soon I was on cloud nine.

But now I accuse her of keeping me in darkness because only after 2-3 months I realized how pathetic my poems were and even a 5th standard girl can write better than me. Plus I still don't know the difference between Prose, Poetry and Poem. I just know Rhymes. Therefore I took a return flight from cloud nine to cloud 'minus' nine.

So here I am. Taking a serious attempt on some non serious writing, trying to reach from cloud 'minus' nine to ground zero and hoping to do little better than before.
I also want to warn all the readers that I write complete nonsense and bullshit at times. So don't take them too seriously. You are most welcome to laugh on them with me but dare not make fun of them. :)